Raising a Twoligan

I haven’t wrote a post in a while so I thought it was about time I pulled my finger out!

A lot has happened since I wrote my last blog post, we moved house, we went to Lauren’s wedding, welcomed Beau, Nico and Margot into the cubs and us gang and Zach turned two! I won’t lie I have found it hard trying to juggle working, being a mother and keeping on top of the house all with a little twoligan in tow, I didn’t really believe people when they mentioned the terrible twos to me I just thought okay another year older, what’s the worst that can happen?! 

Zach has been two since January but only just recently properly entered the ‘terrible twos’ stage, don’t get me wrong- he has absolutely brilliant days where he plays nicely and draws nice pictures, other days he shits on the floor and draws me nice pictures ON MY WALL!

I can’t help but laugh at him sometimes though, his sense of humour and level of sass is amazing. His cheeky little face is too hard to resist and I find myself having to leave the room if he’s being a bit ‘too much’ because I’ll only end up laughing and it’ll make him want to do it all the more. His new favourite at the moment is shouting ‘OH NO’ and catapulting whatever it is that’s in his hand at the time straight at your head, and recently has taken a liking into shoving his fingers down his nappy… I’ll let you imagine the rest. 

Have you ever tried arguing with a toddler? It’s near enough impossible, Zach and I have had numerous stand offs the past couple of months ranging from giving him the wrong coloured ice lolly and him not wanting to come in from the garden. I’ll give him this though- he manages to stand his ground and is an excellent negotiator, even if it does end up in him throwing himself on the floor sometimes. 

I recently wondered what he would do in a crisis or if anything ever happened to me, so naturally I pretended to keel over (a dramatic flop to the ground whilst coughing) and it took him a few seconds to realise, dramatically shouted ‘OH NO’ and I thought yes here we go he’s going to raise the alarm… sat on my head and continued to watch CBeebies. Amazing. 

Once your child turns two they really should come with a warning label, you need eyes in the back of your head, a quick reflex and know how to keep a cool head otherwise you’ll be there until next week when you’re having a ‘disagreement’ with said toddler. It’s as though once they turn two a little dial on their head goes from ‘small meltdown’ to ‘nuclear worldwide meltdown’ complete with throwing themselves on the floor and screeching like a banshee. One main thing I’ve noticed a change in is his selective hearing, we can be playing and I’ll name the different coloured pencils… blank expression, I can reel off numbers 1-10… blank expression, I can be in the kitchen and drop something and accidentally (don’t shoot me) mutter ‘shit’ under my breath you best believe Mr Selective Hearing heard that and can suddenly repeat it! 

He knows how to test my limits now and we have the best little giggles together, he recently got his place into a local school nursery where he’ll be starting when he’s 3 and I’m not going to lie I absolutely cannot wait for him to be someone else’s problem for 3 hours a day (just joking.. a little bit) and thought I’d skip out of the school after the new parents meeting but instead I had one look at the teeny tiny toilets and almost burst into tears, he’s a little sassinator but he’s my sassinator! 

One thing I love about my little twoligan at the moment is his ability to grass train boy up, I came downstairs the other day after a shower and straight away Zach shouts ‘DADDY BEEN TO SLEEPIES’ he doesn’t miss a trick! 

One thing is for certain though, he’s a little angel when he’s asleep and I’m thankful for nights to relax when I’m not working! Raising a small human is exhausting. 

Do you have a twoligan or just a toddler in general that makes you laugh and want to pull your hair out at the same time? Let us know in the comments! Thank you for reading. 

Catherine x